Someone once told me that people get the government they deserve. While the comment initially incensed me, I have come to regard it as generally accurate.* Unfortunately, most of the people in this country are fucking morons.
The following is all true; I obviously translated these statements into Lindsey prose...but he seriously said this shit. Sometimes, he managed to make two completely contradictory statements in the same breath!
“I will protect the 2nd Amendment…
…while reinstituting the ban on assault rifles.”
“The 2nd Amendment applies to individuals, not just the ‘well-regulated militia’…
…but, you know, it’s aight to enforce arbitrary restrictions on personal gun ownership in NYC, DC, and LA. “
“Iran doesn’t pose a serious threat to us; nothing as serious as the threat the former Soviet Union posed to us…
…oh, nevermind, Iran poses a grave threat to us.”
“Jerusalem should remain the capital of Israel, and it should remain undivided…
…actually, nevermind, the parties should discuss Israel amongst themselves; my express commitment to Israel was a bit of poor phrasing on my part. My bad!“
“Sending more troops to Iraq wouldn’t do shit to help us…
…nevermind, our troops are sweet; 30,000 more would go a long way in improving American security.”
“The embargo on Cuba has UTTERLY FAILED, and I’d relax it. Fuck it, let’s extend the Metrorail from the AA Arena to the Havana Airport…
…nevermind, Hialeah residents. We’ll keep the embargo; fuck Castro.”
“I oppose the war, but I support funding for our troops…
…but I just voted against it. Aww yeah!”
But he does have plenty of supporters:
Ahmed Yousuf
“We like Mr. Obama, and we hope that he will win the elections," said Ahmed Yousuf, Hamas' top political adviser in the Gaza Strip.
Hugo Chavez
(Though he initially admitted to preferring Obama over McCain, after realizing that the support of a South American dictator who carries a Noam Chomsky book around with him may ultimately be a detriment to the Obama campaign, he withdrew his support.)
Willam Ayers (aka White Willie Horton)
Communist Party USA.
*Haiti excluded.
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